:mattLandia:

This afternoon I decided I needed some "man-time" in my garage. I've been mulling over how to build some portable light fixtures for my makeshift photo studio and I figured this evening was a good as any. Wood was purchased, tape measures were stretched, drills were put into into action with 1 inch diameter bits attached, and a mighty sweat was called forth.

I was feeling it. That manly man sort of feeling. That Old Spice, Aqua Velva, Lee Jeans, Black and Decker sort of feeling. After a few hours of uninterrupted work, lost deep in thought, I sat down to admire my handiwork. Alright, I admit that one of the fixtures leaned a bit to the left and my overall carpentry is a bit haphazard, but overall I was pleased. My project was complete.

As I sat on the garage floor, Boris busied himself with the snorting of wood chips and Blanca sauntered up to me for a little behind-the-ear scratching which I obliged her with. As I was petting her HEAD I glanced down and was shocked out of my reverie by a 12 inch man-eating garden serpent she had tucked delicately between her teeth as if it were a piece of licorice, or a perhaps a Slim Jim.

At this point in my narrative I must confess a deep seated fear of snakes, the Cobra being my most primal of fears. The fact that my trusted cat brought a snake unannounced into our circle of trust was just too much shock to the system. I exploded off the ground and bounded out of the room squealing like a little French girl being chased by Italian gypsies. I can't be sure because my unadulterated surrender to flight (rather than fight) has been blacked out by the sheer humiliation of the moment.

Considering my man-time had been completely voided by my sissy hysterics, I knew I had to redeem my cojones from their hiding place high in my abdomen. I gathered my wits about me, went back to the garage, asked Blanca if I might steal a few moments with her friend and picked up... yes, I said picked up... the snake. I've watched that idiot Crock Hunter enough to know the basics about picking up a snake: pick it up gently by the tail, hold it just inches away from your face, and brag joyously in your best Aussie accent "Oi mate, that's a right beauty!".

Professor Snape (yes.. I named him) and I shared a few moments together, I snapped a few good-bye pictures and then promptly threw him as far into the back yard as I could. **sniff sniff** Parting is such sweet sepertine sorrw.